This is random, maybe, but I feel I have to share. I've alluded to the fact that I'm trying to dial it back. I'm not sure I was clear as to why.
Christmas is a terrible time to be grieving.
I find myself crying more than usual at the typical "Hallmark" type commercials and stories.
I woke the other morning and the radio station was giving out gifts for a needy family. I immediately burst into tears. I had trouble keeping it together the rest of the day.
I have lost loved ones before but never at Christmas.
There is so much to do.
I don't have the luxury of sitting on the couch, wrapped in a throw watching movies and eating popcorn.
Seriously, that is all I want to do!
I forced myself to get out and shop the other day.
It is no fun being the only one that isn't jovial at Tuesday Morning.
I am sure the other shoppers thought I was a "Grinch" but that isn't the case.
I want to muster up HoHoHo and Holly Jolly but I just can't.
I am only going through the motions.
I was telling one of my dear moms this morning,
that I am giving myself permission to eat off of paper plates for our family gatherings.
I am not baking a jillion types of cookies.
We'll probably be giving out more gift cards instead of wrapped presents.
I may actually have to use purchased gift bags instead of making my own. (Oh horrors!)
The list goes on and on.
Do you see?
I am an idiot.
Why do we as women put so much pressure on ourselves?
I know I am not the only one that tries to live in a pressure cooker of my own making.
This is a Christmas of permission.
Permission to be less than perfect.
Permission to just be sad if I want to and need to.
Permission to have an easier Christmas.
To do any more, this year, would defeat the less is more philosophy that is the first Christmas.
The no room, born in a barn, put in a feed trough simplicity of the Christ child.
Emmanuel- God with us.
That is why He came.
He came to ease our grief, heal the broken hearts and seek out the lost.
Katie
Christmas is a terrible time to be grieving.
I find myself crying more than usual at the typical "Hallmark" type commercials and stories.
I woke the other morning and the radio station was giving out gifts for a needy family. I immediately burst into tears. I had trouble keeping it together the rest of the day.
I have lost loved ones before but never at Christmas.
 |
| I made the candle holder for Jim's memorial service. |
I don't have the luxury of sitting on the couch, wrapped in a throw watching movies and eating popcorn.
Seriously, that is all I want to do!
I forced myself to get out and shop the other day.
It is no fun being the only one that isn't jovial at Tuesday Morning.
I am sure the other shoppers thought I was a "Grinch" but that isn't the case.
I want to muster up HoHoHo and Holly Jolly but I just can't.
I am only going through the motions.
I was telling one of my dear moms this morning,
that I am giving myself permission to eat off of paper plates for our family gatherings.
I am not baking a jillion types of cookies.
We'll probably be giving out more gift cards instead of wrapped presents.
I may actually have to use purchased gift bags instead of making my own. (Oh horrors!)
The list goes on and on.
Do you see?
I am an idiot.
Why do we as women put so much pressure on ourselves?
I know I am not the only one that tries to live in a pressure cooker of my own making.
This is a Christmas of permission.
Permission to be less than perfect.
Permission to just be sad if I want to and need to.
Permission to have an easier Christmas.
To do any more, this year, would defeat the less is more philosophy that is the first Christmas.
The no room, born in a barn, put in a feed trough simplicity of the Christ child.
Emmanuel- God with us.
That is why He came.
He came to ease our grief, heal the broken hearts and seek out the lost.
Katie
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